bignigey01
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No Pornography
Star this Commitment
Week 47 of 52
bignigey01 commits to:
No masturbation for a year
46
0
Last reported: Success
Next report due:
August 14
11:00 PM GMT
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My Commitment Journal
 bignigey01
August 8, 2026, 8:12 AM
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| My urges have been getting stronger and more frequent lately. Not just of me fantasising of having sex with pornstars, but fantasizing of those same pornstars involved in threesomes and foursomes. It’s especially erotic for me to fantasize them getting cummed on in all sorts of ways. I do feel these urges can interfere with my sleep l, especially when I awake in the middle of the night. This is because if I’m too stimulated, I’m not that relaxed. In any case, I’m proud that I’m almost at the end of my commitment with only 6 weeks to go. | |
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bignigey01
August 1, 2026, 9:26 AM
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| Urges are still apparent of course with much of it stemming from either Richelle Ryan, Jules Jordan of K Klixen. I’ve noticed also that women I’ve seen at the gym with a curvaceous figure tend to take my breath away. I feel this is reflective of the type of women I fantasize from porn. Because that’s the standard of attraction I want in women, it can feel even more demoralising when trying to approach. It feels intimidating because the standard is quite high. This is also why it can feel frustrating and hopeless. I have the habit in interacting with men when at the gym in the locker room or sauna. But I don’t have the same inclination when it comes to women, in case they suspect I’m trying to come onto them. It’s easier to approach when there’s something genuine you want to interact with them on. | |
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bignigey01
July 25, 2026, 7:03 AM
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| Had some urges this week and they usually tend to occur when I’m in bed. Most recently there was something on Instagram about a former adult actress that compelled me to look over pics of them. I’ve also had ‘meditation’ instances of me fantasising over the likes of Ryan Conner, Richelle Ryan and women I’ve noticed at the gym. It does at times feel a bit tormenting that I don’t have the courage to approach them. However I also don’t have anything genuine to approach them for. Being more in touch with my community I feel is safer when approaching people in general, and doing it everyday is easier. Even if there’s the risk of being rejected, it’s to filter out those that I’m able to build a connection with. | |
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bignigey01
July 18, 2026, 7:27 AM
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| Haven’t had as many urges this week. I’d chalk that up to being out more of an evening at the gym. Had strong urges yesterday which was due to finishing work early. I’m thinking that I shouldn’t feel too guilty for looking at women via sexual cues. This has been a thing since last year from my CBT sessions. After my next therapy (HiCBT), I’d want to break away from therapy altogether as I realize I’ve been in it for almost every year for the last few years. Peer support will probably be my next port of call. | |
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